i carry your heart with me

It was when I watched Cameron Diaz’s In Her Shoes (2005) that the poem tugged on my heartstrings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

– E. E. Cummings

For someone who has OCD, the punctuation bothers me, but I can’t help loving it because love is irrational and inexplicable; it makes you do stupid things knowing clearly that you shouldn’t, just like how the lower-case type and punctuations violate all grammar rules. The parentheses are like hugs and the lack of spacing and run-on lines intensify the emotion in the poem. The lower-case type is almost like a soft whisper and takes away the otherwise prominence and dominance of a capitalised I, creating a more well balanced relationship between the persona and the lover. The love depicted in this poem is fearless and beautiful. It is unconditional like the sun and moon.

Being away from my family for the second time, there is no one I miss more than me sister. Despite our differences in terms of appearance, personality and taste in men/fashion/food etc, she is the closest person to me in my life. We grew up sharing a room, working and sleeping side by side; she is the root of my root and the bud of my bud. Cummings’ use of extended metaphor of nature creates a strong foundation and a never-ending sensation to the love. Throughout life, my sister and I will be there supporting and sheltering each other. I may not tell her I love her enough, but she will always be part of me and I will carry her heart in mine wherever I go, never without it.

And I shall read this poem to her at her wedding, just like what Diaz did in the movie.

Originally written for The Mays XXV blog

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